Welcome to my newest section for this site: Bible!
Before we dive into the Word of God, I feel it's important to share a little about me first. Hi, I’m Brooke. I was raised in a Christian home and grew up in the Bible Belt. If you're not familiar with the term, it refers to the Southern states where there's a church on every corner. I knew the Bible and that Jesus died for me. I was on a Bible quiz team with my sister; it was getting real back in the day. We were that Christian, y’all. I always had a deep desire for God, and as long as I can remember, I have loved to worship; I still do. As I got older, things got confusing.
I attended youth group every Wednesday, and my dad served as a church elder. I was doing everything right on the outside, but indifferent about my inner life. I would go to church on Sunday, curse and drink on Monday, girlie. I was heavily influenced by my peers and FOMO. I wanted to fit in with my friends and live like everyone else, but I still hoped to go to heaven, so I kept going to church on Sundays. Honestly, I felt conviction about my actions as a teen, but since no one around me was struck by lightning for their actions, I assumed I was okay. There's a common phrase the Christian community likes to use: “God knows my heart,” which I've come to question. Yes, God knew my heart—He understood my feelings of conviction and my unwillingness to change my wicked ways and follow Him. Oh, He knew my heart. I got into trouble as a teen with drinking and living freely, but that still didn’t prompt genuine change. I didn’t realize back then that the word of God is transformative; I thought reading it would suddenly change me, and that all my desires would align with a godly lifestyle. Simply put, it doesn't work that way.
My freshman year of college was a difficult period for me. In high school, I managed to balance schoolwork and social life easily, but college hit me with a reality check. I struggled with saying no and setting boundaries, feeling like I had to attend everything and drink excessively. During this tough time, my brother suggested I explore YWAM (Youth With A Mission) to find space for myself. I packed my bags and traveled to Ireland, which truly saved me. It was the best decision I could have made back then. My heart had always been for Jesus, and I loved doing missions as a child, so this opportunity was perfect for me. I learned a lot about myself and about God, and I discovered I could handle even the most challenging situations. I had changed as a person, but when I returned home, I found that everyone else had remained the same. Struggling to navigate this new normal, I soon reverted to old patterns because it felt easier to blend in than stand out.
I found a lady, Penny, through YWAM who had a ministry in South Africa, and I flew out on my twenty-first birthday for the first of many trips with her. Penny changed my life. She was my spiritual mentor. I had never met anyone like her. She made me look organized, but it always amazed me that she knew where everything was. She loved me through my highs and lows. She taught me more about mercy, grace, and love than I can even put into words. It wasn’t just the things she said; it was how she lived. She cared for people, like deeply cared for them. She was showing me Jesus in the most real and beautiful way.
Coming back from SA was another major challenge that I struggled to navigate. I was again changed, but my world at home remained the same. Same story as before, I didnt want to stick out, so I fit right back in. I think you can see the pattern in my life by now. I wanted to be changed, but I didn’t know how to live it out. Yes, I was different, and I loved the Lord so deeply, yet I failed to live that out in my day-to-day life. That was never something I was taught. I didn’t understand the power of the word of God to bring forth transformation. I didn’t realize what I needed was a renewed mind and the ability to draw boundaries.
After college, I worked as a nurse for two years. I went through probably one of the hardest seasons of my life thus far. I was living on autopilot. One day, I said to the Lord, “I don’t know that you are good, I don’t know if I like you, I feel spiritually bankrupt. What are you going to do about it?” I kid you not, before I even hit the couch, I heard the words “BETHEL” clear as day. Immediately, I started searching for Bethel and looking into what could possibly be there for me. They have a school of supernatural ministry. I applied the next day, thinking I wouldn't get in because I was very honest about my struggles and my current state with God. I got an interview, and it went much better than anticipated. I got in. Should I just copy and paste from the stories about? Just kidding, kind of. It was the best thing for me. I learned so much. I learned more about the prophetic than I had ever known, and my life began to make way more sense. You see, we all have spiritual gifts; many of us call them intuition for lack of a better term. It was here that I learned to walk in my gift and to steward it.
All of these links have led us to where I am today. I am still learning more and more about Jesus. I am reading the same Bible I have read my whole life, but now through the lens of “change me, Jesus, make me more like you.” I do not get it right all the time. I still have really hard days, but they are not like they used to be. There are still areas in my life that I struggle with. I am not saying this is easy, nor does it happen overnight; it’s a slow progression, but it's worth every step. As I grow, the Lord is teaching me new things. If you are new to God or have been around the block like I have, there is something here for you.
If you made it this far, well done, good and faithful servant. I value vulnerability, transparency, and authenticity. That is what I always strive to present when sharing. Thank you for trusting me and joining me in the discovery of transformation through God’s word. What hit me most one day was the reality that I was living my life lukewarm, and I knew I had to be in the world, not of it. Here’s to the next journey.